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Little Girl Crying : My Life-Long Struggle with Anorexia Nervosa and the Prayer That Saved My Life

Belinda Rose

I'll bury the pain deep, deep down
So deep that it can't be found
It will not see the light of day
If it seeks release I'll purge it away
I'll starve the life right out of it
And lull the pain a little bit
I'll beat the pain... the anger... fear
'Till 'It' or 'I' just disappear

Abused at home, bullied relentlessly at school, and raped by someone she loved and trusted, Belinda Rose found her emotional pain too much to cope with, and thus began the fight of her life against two dark adversaries: Anorexia Nervosa and Depression.

For nearly 38 years, she found herself locked in a life and death battle with an eating disorder intent on destroying her mentally, physically and spiritually. Near death multiple times, and at one point hospitalized 13 times within the span of a year and a half, doctors all agreed she'd never overcome the eating disorder and would likely die from it. It would take nothing less than a miracle for her to find the recovery that seemed impossible. She felt lost, alone and at the mercy of an illness intent on her destruction. All hope seemed gone, or was it?

As a small child, Belinda had found comfort and sanctuary from those that abused and bullied her in the arms of her imaginary friend, Jesus. It would be the deep love and devotion she'd felt for Him since childhood that would lead her on a journey of prayer to an incredible spiritual experience that would miraculously still the Voice of Anorexia, lift the darkness of depression and transform her life setting her on a new path.

Little Girl Crying is a story of survival. It's a story of God's love, mercy, and amazing grace, that affirms God is with us even when He is silent. But most of all, it is a message of hope and encouragement to all that suffer that says never give up, because our God is a God of healing and miracles!

From every chapter beginning with a Bible verse and an inspirational poem to ending with a prayer, to the over 40 compelling, original, and often heart-wrenching black and white illustrations, Little Girl Crying is so much more than just another eating disorder memoir, but a sense-evoking, spiritually uplifting experience that meets each of us in our own personal suffering. This is a story that is a wild ride on an emotional roller coaster, and yet, a spiritual journey full of hope and miracles that speaks to perseverance, the power of prayer, and God's silence amid our suffering.

The author shares deep insights into the heart of anorexia nervosa―the insidious voice, that torments and tortures its victim's psyche relentlessly. She also offers a short and special section at the end of the book with insightful suggestions for family and friends of ways to support those that are suffering with an eating disorder.

While Little Girl Crying takes the reader deep into the heart of suffering, it also reflects on where God is in the midst of our suffering, why He allows it, and how we can find both a deeper purpose for it and the blessings in it. It is no wonder Little Girl Crying has been called a modern day Pilgrim's Progress.

From the Author:

Belinda Rose is an inspirational author, poet, and creative. She overcame a decades-long battle with anorexia nervosa, bulimia and deep depression through the healing and transformational power of contemplative prayer. Near death multiple times, her story of survival is a testimony to the power of God's unfailing love and amazing grace. Amid an abusive childhood, she felt a deep devotion to Jesus, where He soon became her dearest friend and lifeline. Through God's grace she was drawn to contemplative prayer. Belinda attributes the miracle of her healing to the power of experiencing God in this deep, meditative prayer. As a Christian Contemplative, she believes it is by resting in God in the silence – the journey within – that sets God's divine action to work within us to allow true healing of the wounded heart, mind and soul to occur.She is the author of the vibrant online prayer community Illustrated Devotions, a prayer ministry where she shares daily prayers and devotions, and offers intercessory prayer for those in need. Through her ministry she seeks to inspire and encourage those who suffer by ultimately leading them into a deeper intimacy with God through prayer. Belinda Rose is devoted to her Catholic faith, the Sacred Heart of Jesus and Eucharistic Adoration. When she isn't writing, Belinda loves spending quiet time in nature and adores animals of every kind. Born and raised in the Midwest, she still lives there with her husband and three sons. Together they enjoy the companionship of their five cocker spaniels, three cats and Buster the parrot.